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him； as if his legs were really cut away； and he could not move；
but remained a crippled trunk； dependent； worthless。 The ghastly
sense of helplessness； as if he were a mere figure that did not
exist vitally； made him mad； beside himself。
Now； even whilst he was with her； this death of himself came
over him； when he walked about like a body from which all
individual life is gone。 In this state he neither heard nor saw
nor felt； only the mechanism of his life continued。
He hated her； as far as； in this state； he could hate。 His
cunning suggested to him all the ways of making her esteem him。
For she did not esteem him。 He left her and did not write to
her。 He flirted with other women； with Gudrun。
This last made her very fierce。 She was still fiercely
jealous of his body。 In passionate anger she upbraided him
because； not being man enough to satisfy one woman； he hung
round others。
＇〃Don't I satisfy you？〃 he asked of her； again going white to the throat。
〃No；〃 she said。 〃You've never satisfied me since the first week in London。
You never satisfy me now。 What does it mean to me； your having me〃＇
She lifted her shoulders and turned aside her face in a motion of cold；
indifferent worthlessness。 He felt he would kill her。
When she had roused him to a pitch of madness； when she saw
his eyes all dark and mad with suffering； then a great suffering
overcame her soul； a great； inconquerable suffering。 And she
loved him。 For； oh； she wanted to love him。 Stronger than life
or death was her craving to be able to love him。
And at such moments； when he was made with her destroying
him； when all his placency was destroyed； all his everyday
self was broken； and only the stripped； rudimentary； primal man
remained； demented with torture； her passion to love him became
love； she took him again； they came together in an overwhelming
passion； in which he knew he satisfied her。
But it all contained a developing germ of death。 After each
contact； her anguished desire for him or for that which she
never had from him was stronger； her love was more hopeless。
After each contact his mad dependence on her was deepened； his
hope of standing strong and taking her in his own strength was
weakened。 He felt himself a mere attribute of her。
Whitsuntide came； just before her examination。 She was to
have a few days of rest。 Dorothy had inherited her patrimony；
and had taken a cottage in Sussex。 She invited them to stay with
her。
They went down to Dorothy's neat； low cottage at the foot of
the downs。 Here they could do as they liked。 Ursula was always
yearning to go to the top of the downs。 The white track wound up
to the rounded summit。 And she must go。
Up there； she could see the Channel a few miles away； the sea
raised up and faintly glittering in the sky； the Isle of Wight a
shadow lifted in the far distance； the river winding bright
through the patterned plain to seaward； Arundel Castle a shadowy
bulk； and then the rolling of the high； smooth downs； making a
high； smooth land under heaven； acknowledging only the heavens
in their great； sunglowing strength； and suffering only a few
bushes to trespass on the intercourse between their great；
unabateable body and the changeful body of the sky。
Below she saw the villages and the woods of the weald； and
the train running bravely； a gallant little thing； running with
all the importance of the world over the water meadows and into
the gap of the downs； waving its white steam； yet all the while
so little。 So little； yet its courage carried it from end to end
of the earth； till there was no place where it did not go。 Yet
the downs； in magnificent indifference； bearing limbs and body
to the sun； drinking sunshine and seawind and seawet cloud
into its golden skin； with superb stillness and calm of being；
was not the downs still more wonderful？ The blind； pathetic；
energetic courage of the train as it steamed tinily away through
the patterned levels to the sea's dimness； so fast and so
energetic； made her weep。 Where was it going？ It was going
nowhere； it was just going。 So blind； so without goal or aim；
yet so hasty！ She sat on an old prehistoric earthwork and
cried； and the tears ran down her face。 The train had tunnelled
all the earth； blindly； and uglily。
And she lay face downwards on the downs； that were so strong；
that cared only for their intercourse with the everlasting
skies； and she wished she could bee a strong mound smooth
under the sky； bosom and limbs bared to all winds and clouds and
bursts of sunshine。
But she must get up again and look down from her foothold of
sunshine； down and away at the patterned； level earth； with its
villages and its smoke and its energy。 So shortsighted the train
seemed； running to the distance； so terrifying in their
littleness the villages； with such pettiness in their
activity。
Skrebensky wandered dazed； not knowing where he was or what
he was doing with her。 All her passion seemed to be to wander up
there on the downs； and when she must descend to earth； she was
heavy。 Up there she was exhilarated and free。
She would not love him in a house any more。 She said she
hated houses； and particularly she hated beds。 There was
something distasteful in his ing to her bed。
She would stay the night on the downs； up there； he with her。
It was midsummer； the days were glamorously long。 At about
halfpast ten； when the blueyblack darkness had at last fallen；
they took rugs and climbed the steep track to the summit of the
downs； he and she。
Up there； the stars were big； the earth below was gone into
darkness。 She was free up there with the stars。 Far out they saw
tiny yellow lightsbut it was very far out； at sea； or on
land。 She was free up among the stars。
She took off her clothes； and made him take off all his； and
they ran over the smooth； moonless turf； a long way； more than a
mile from where they had left their clothing； running in the
dark； soft wind； utterly naked； as naked as the downs
themselves。 Her hair was loose and blew about her shoulders； she
ran swiftly； wearing sandals when she set off on the long run to
the dewpond。
In the round dewpond the stars were untroubled。 She ventured
softly into the water； grasping at the stars with her hands。
And then suddenly she started back； running swiftly。 He was
there； beside her； but only on sufferance。 He was a screen for
her fears。 He served her。 She took him； she clasped him；
clenched him close； but her eyes were open looking at the stars；
it was as if the stars were lying with her and entering the
unfathomable darkness of her womb； fathoming her at last。 It was
not him。
The dawn came。 They stood together on a high place； an
earthwork of the stoneage men； watching for the light。 It came
over the land。 But the land was dark。 She watched a pale rim on
the sky； away against the darkened land。 The darkness became
bluer。 A little wind was running in from the sea behind。 It
seemed to be running to the pale rift of the dawn。 And she and
he darkly； on an outpost of the darkness； stood watching for the
dawn。
The light grew stronger； gushing up against the dark sapphire
of the transparent night。 The light grew stronger； whiter； then
over it hovered a flush of rose。 A flush of rose； and then
yellow； pale； newcreated yellow； the whole quivering and
poising momentarily over the fountain on the sky's rim。
The rose hovered and quivered； burned； fused to flame； to a
transient red； while the yellow urged out in great waves； thrown
from the everincreasing fountain； great waves of yellow
flinging into the sky； scattering its spray over the darkness；
which became bluer and bluer； paler； till soon it would itself
be a radiance； which had been darkness。
The sun was ing。 There was a quivering； a powerful
terrifying swim of molten light。 Then the molten source itself
surged forth； revealing itself。 The sun was in the sky； too
powerful to look at。
And the ground beneath lay so still； so peaceful。 Only now
and again a cock crew。 Otherwise； from the distant yellow hills
to the pine trees at the foot of the downs； everything was newly
washed into being； in a flood of new； golden creat